{"content":{"sharePage":{"page":0,"digests":[{"id":"15575230","dateCreated":"1255846534","smartDate":"Oct 17, 2009","userCreated":{"username":"bailsfishy","url":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/user\/view\/bailsfishy","imageUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/i\/user_none_lg.jpg"},"monitored":false,"locked":false,"links":{"self":"https:\/\/iolaniwomenlit.wikispaces.com\/share\/view\/15575230"},"dateDigested":1532141309,"startDate":null,"sharedType":"discussion","title":"Honey, I Shrunk the Argument","description":"I do not think it is okay to label every couple with this. I don't think ultimatums like "always", "everybody", "never", or "nobody" should be used when describing behavior because every person and every relationship is different. There is no way that a doctor of psychology could label all females as the one who has to work in a relationship, and all guys as the one who just shut down. When my old boyfriend and I used to fight, it was the opposite: he would attack me with accusations and blame and at first I would stand up for myself. After a while I realized it was useless and withdrew, which is what the article suggests is what a guy does. I am not a guy, therefore this theory is debunked. And not all relationships can be simplified to numerical data. Can any? How could they? How can you measure a person's heart rate and draw a behavioral conclusion? Naturally, being part of a social experiment, awkwardly being locked in a room with a significant other, and being monitored\/watched by cameras and heart rate monitors would increase a person's heart rate.
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\nI don't know who Tita and Pedro and John Brown are...but from what I can tell Tita chooses Pedro over John because she opts for lust over love, so her heart rate would go up around Pedro because of his physical attractiveness.","replyPages":[{"page":0,"digests":[],"more":0}]},{"id":"15540388","dateCreated":"1255714087","smartDate":"Oct 16, 2009","userCreated":{"username":"alisongoo","url":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/user\/view\/alisongoo","imageUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/i\/user_none_lg.jpg"},"monitored":false,"locked":false,"links":{"self":"https:\/\/iolaniwomenlit.wikispaces.com\/share\/view\/15540388"},"dateDigested":1532141309,"startDate":null,"sharedType":"discussion","title":"Honey, I Shrunk the Argument","description":"Wow. When I read this article, I found the informaton to be true in many of the relationships around me. My mom is always getting mad at my dad for lazily sitting on the couch watching NFL football all day on Sunday. She gets fustrated at him for not making his day productive. A friend of mine was recently upset at her boyfriend because she felt she was always the one to call him or plan their weekends. Although, I have several examples that fit this label, there are definitely other couples that go under categories. With so many different personalities there are bound to be different relationship dynamics. Since there are various types of relationships, they can't all be simplified into numerical data.
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\nI think the reactions of men and women relate to their personalities and their motive in the relatonship. This study can be applied to Tita and Pedro because it often seems that Tita is arrgivated and fustrated after being or talking to Pedro(stressful relationship). But as for the relationship between Tita and John Brown, it is quite the opposite. Tita is calmed and relaxed when she is with John.
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\nI think that this just goes to show that their are so many different people, and therefore somay types of relationships.","replyPages":[{"page":0,"digests":[],"more":0}]},{"id":"15522002","dateCreated":"1255686991","smartDate":"Oct 16, 2009","userCreated":{"username":"loganokie05","url":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/user\/view\/loganokie05","imageUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/i\/user_none_lg.jpg"},"monitored":false,"locked":false,"links":{"self":"https:\/\/iolaniwomenlit.wikispaces.com\/share\/view\/15522002"},"dateDigested":1532141309,"startDate":null,"sharedType":"discussion","title":"Reactions to Arguments","description":"Every couple should not be labeled with this observation. Although it may be true that a majority of couples behave in such a manner, obviously it is practically impossible for every single couple to have the same relationship. Relationships can be simplified to numerical data because this makes the viewing of a typical relationship much easier. The article is mainly based on the different reactions between men and women during arguments. By obtaining numerical data from results of the arguments, a general conclusion about couples as a whole, but as I said before, this data should not be applied to every couple.
\nThe differences in reactions between men and women are based mainly on biological features such as the brain. Men and women have different emotions by nature, so they react differently in various situations. Sometimes people react in a certain way because of the way they grew up. This includes environmental, cultural, and economical situations. A wealthy woman born in America probably would react differently in an argument from a woman who grew up in the slums of India. Overall, women and men generally have different reactions because of various chemicals stimulating the brain for each sex.
\nIn the relationship between Tita and Pedro, arguments tended to switch back and forth. Both of them initiated an argument at some point of the novel, and the discussions heated up to a great measure. Opposed to the article, Pedro, being the man, usually did not back away from the situation. Arguments tended to erupt into rage where neither gave the other a chance to speak. Tita and John shared a different relationship. When Tita spoke to John about her love for Pedro, John allowed Tita to say everything that was on her mind. In response, John remained calm and backed off to give Tita time to think. This could be classified as a calm and collective argument. The article matches Tita and John\u2019s relationship more because Tita does most of the talking while John listens then backs away. John may have done so to keep himself composed or maybe because he is simply a reasonable guy.","replyPages":[{"page":0,"digests":[],"more":0}]},{"id":"15521818","dateCreated":"1255684188","smartDate":"Oct 16, 2009","userCreated":{"username":"loyamash","url":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/user\/view\/loyamash","imageUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/i\/user_none_lg.jpg"},"monitored":false,"locked":false,"links":{"self":"https:\/\/iolaniwomenlit.wikispaces.com\/share\/view\/15521818"},"dateDigested":1532141309,"startDate":null,"sharedType":"discussion","title":"Arguments","description":"This article is very vague in the theory which Diamond deems true based on all her research and studies. However,I think it is unfair to classify every couple this way. Each relationship is different and so are the circumstances and so are the people within the relationship. I think Diamond points out a common trend but to label it that the women worries and trys to work out the relationship while the men sit back and enjoy the benfits is unfair. Also, I think that proving things with data is good, but in this case, I think it is irrelevent and should not be used in this type of study. The data is good to have, but it does not fully explain the reasons and the causes of these arguments more specifically on a mental level.
\nI think the different reactions are caused by different mindsets. It gets difficult when you have to guess what the other person is thinking. I think that women tend to overthink and over-analyze situations and things to a point that situations can become very misconstrued. Also, men tend to not say much to keep the women guessing.
\nI think this relates more to the relationship between Pedro and Tita because Tita and Mr. Brown rarely ever argued. However, Pedro and Tita sometimes never agreed with each other and the miscommunications between the two kept them guessing, especially Tita. And so Tita was the one always getting frustrated and trying to make things work with Pedro.","replyPages":[{"page":0,"digests":[],"more":0}]},{"id":"15521644","dateCreated":"1255682511","smartDate":"Oct 16, 2009","userCreated":{"username":"studloaf","url":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/user\/view\/studloaf","imageUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/i\/user_none_lg.jpg"},"monitored":false,"locked":false,"links":{"self":"https:\/\/iolaniwomenlit.wikispaces.com\/share\/view\/15521644"},"dateDigested":1532141309,"startDate":null,"sharedType":"discussion","title":"honey, i shrunk the argument","description":"It is definitely not okay to label every couple with this. Although these responses may be common in many relationships, these responses should not be stereotyped. Everyone and every culture is different so different responses may be normal to to other people. This is shown in the story "Daisy Miller" by Henry James. Winterbourne was so confused by Daisy's behavior simply because the cultures were different. Similarly, different cultures most likely have different ways to express emotion. The take on arguing may also be very different. My argument is basically that our bodies responses in arguments are not purely innate. I think that there is learned behavior in the physical response in arguments. As for the innate aspect of our bodies, I do believe that there is a biological difference between men and women. In this sense, then yes, it is possible to generalize that men respond in a particular manner. I think it is useful to simplify relationships into numerical data because it shows what the majority of men or women do. However, it is important for the person looking at the data to realize that the data is not a fundamentalist piece of work. The causes of different reaction sof men and women are innate, for the most part. I mentioned earlier that these reactions could also be a result of culture. At the moment, however, I do believe that the difference in response between men and women is programmed into, simply because men and women are different. From a logical standpoint, it makes sense that men have less worries of the relationship than women. THis is because men are not tied to child bearing. These relationships can easily be applied to Tita and Pedro. Tita is often distraught about the dysfunctional relationship, as a woman would be if her partner was cheating on her. Also, Pedro is not as concerned about his true partner because he has two. Tita and John Brown also can be tied to the findings. John Brown recedes from Tita's distress, while Tita pours her emotion to John Brown.","replyPages":[{"page":0,"digests":[],"more":0}]},{"id":"15521290","dateCreated":"1255677890","smartDate":"Oct 16, 2009","userCreated":{"username":"aolsen24","url":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/user\/view\/aolsen24","imageUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/i\/user_none_lg.jpg"},"monitored":false,"locked":false,"links":{"self":"https:\/\/iolaniwomenlit.wikispaces.com\/share\/view\/15521290"},"dateDigested":1532141309,"startDate":null,"sharedType":"discussion","title":"Honey, I shrunk the Argument","description":"This article was very interesting. I found it to be sort of biased in a way because it said that only the women "do the heavy lifting" in a relationship, but that is not always necessarily true. I think that since the article was written for Oprah, which is mostly watched by women, it made women seem like the "worker." i think that the point of view can apply to some couples, but not all. There are some where it is the opposite. It all depends on the personalities of the men and women.
\nI do think that their advice with what people should do when finding themselves stressed out and frustrated by their significant other. I agree that the body does indicate what the people are feeling, but I think that sometimes couples just get caught up in the excitement of an argument that they find it hard to stop, even when they are arguing about frivolous and insignificant topics.
\nI think that their is more than numbers to a relationship. It has a lot to do with their past history and I think even the past relationships. THe stereotype for women is that they are "bossy," but I think that only applies to some women. I guess if a guy didn't reply to me when I am asking them something I would get frustrated. On the other hand I agree with the article that says that the body has a lot to do with our reactions.
\nThere wasn't any real fights between Tita, Pedro and Tita and John Brown except when Pedro acted immature to Tita about her marrying John Brown. Jealously can make people do crazy things.","replyPages":[{"page":0,"digests":[],"more":0}]},{"id":"15521014","dateCreated":"1255674969","smartDate":"Oct 15, 2009","userCreated":{"username":"kimroy","url":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/user\/view\/kimroy","imageUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/i\/user_none_lg.jpg"},"monitored":false,"locked":false,"links":{"self":"https:\/\/iolaniwomenlit.wikispaces.com\/share\/view\/15521014"},"dateDigested":1532141310,"startDate":null,"sharedType":"discussion","title":"arguments & reactions","description":"I think that Diamond's research is fascinating, and I definitely see evidence of her argument in couples everywhere. Like all labels, however, the label of a relationship as maintained by the woman and freeloaded on by the man is not always true. Therefore, I believe it is interesting and beneficial to conduct research on what makes a couple tick and how each member reacts, but it is important that readers do not label every relationship as concretely this or that.
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\nRelationships involve much more than numerical data. Diamond finds quantitative data where she can--in the ways that the woman or man\u2019s heart and nervous system react. For example, she can simplify anger in a biological sense by describing its physical symptoms as a racing heart, ragged breathing, and eyes ablaze, but these could never capture the psychological aspects of the argument, like what caused it and what does it show about the relationship between the subjects.
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\nAccording to Diamond, within an arguing couple the typical man follows the demand-withdraw pattern while the woman\u2019s anger flares up. Men feel calm when they withdraw from the conflict. This withdrawal dissatisfies the woman and she feels the need to force the man to respond. These are the generalizations that Diamond has made. Couples elsewhere, however, have different styles of arguing and produce different reactions.
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\nHow can this be applied to the relationships between Tita and Pedro and Tita and John Brown?
\nTita and Pedro both react strongly to the presence of the other. I think Diamond would love to observe this couple. Tita feels as if she is dough being plunged in boiling oil. Meanwhile, Pedro\u2019s heart heats up like a coal. It is hard to say who is maintaining their relationship, but Tita takes the brunt of the sorrow that comes with heartache because she is unaware of Pedro\u2019s hidden agenda. Pedro marries Rosaura to be with Tita, but Tita is often unsure of his feelings for her. Contrarily, John maintains the Tita\/John relationship because he calmly takes the news of her affair and ultimately loses her to Pedro.","replyPages":[{"page":0,"digests":[],"more":0}]},{"id":"15520960","dateCreated":"1255674899","smartDate":"Oct 15, 2009","userCreated":{"username":"dramatic_superstar101","url":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/user\/view\/dramatic_superstar101","imageUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/i\/user_none_lg.jpg"},"monitored":false,"locked":false,"links":{"self":"https:\/\/iolaniwomenlit.wikispaces.com\/share\/view\/15520960"},"dateDigested":1532141310,"startDate":null,"sharedType":"discussion","title":"The Science of Relationships","description":" In general, I do not think it is correct or practical to try to label everything in a category. There will be a majority that will tend a certain way, yes, but there will always be exceptions. Also, categorizing might in turn lead to different negative effects such as too quick judgments and doubt concerning normalcy. It may in turn offend enough girls trying to make their relationships work to have them stop trying. And yet, I\u2019m not saying that this does not happen because I see women working hard to keep their relationships, but I also see men working at them, too.
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\nI found this article very interesting because Lisa Diamond is concentrating on the science of love in a way, and I\u2019m sure her findings will give psychology new material to help others. However, I do not know if science holds all the answers to our questions about love and relationships. I feel that there is something unexplainable to them and no recipe or equation to solve them.
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\nDifferent reactions in men and women depend on their personalities, values, and thought process. It is generally thought that men and women have different levels of commitment, differing priorities, and in short, differing opinions. However, this question suggests that it is a gender issue on how each reacts, but I could easily find two girls who disagree on the definition of a clean room or two boys who can have two radically different views on dressing up. The problem in relationships is that two people are attracted to each other, want to be with each other, but are not each other, and therefore, must adapt to another person\u2019s life style. Different people will react differently, gender aside. I know girls who will just blank out and recoil when confronted and guys who will keep going with an argument, getting more frustrated when others do not respond and vise versa.
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\nTita and Pedro are more alike than Tita and John Brown. Tita and Pedro are both strong, opinionated characters who are not afraid to argue with others and each other which leads to their passion. John Brown is a more giving character, understanding problems and accepting outcomes rather than trying to change them. It seems that this article could relate to these relationships because couples who are more alike and act more similarly will have more of a connection (though stability I do not know) than those with greatly differing reactions.","replyPages":[{"page":0,"digests":[{"id":"15521760","body":"i agree","dateCreated":"1255683630","smartDate":"Oct 16, 2009","userCreated":{"username":"studloaf","url":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/user\/view\/studloaf","imageUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/i\/user_none_lg.jpg"}}],"more":0}]},{"id":"15520692","dateCreated":"1255671849","smartDate":"Oct 15, 2009","userCreated":{"username":"ramintzl","url":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/user\/view\/ramintzl","imageUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/i\/user_none_lg.jpg"},"monitored":false,"locked":false,"links":{"self":"https:\/\/iolaniwomenlit.wikispaces.com\/share\/view\/15520692"},"dateDigested":1532141310,"startDate":null,"sharedType":"discussion","title":"Relationships","description":" I found the article \u201cHoney I Shrunk the Argument,\u201d to be very interesting. I had never heard of scientists actually conducting scientific experiments dealing with relationships between spouses and the psychological impact they have on each person involved in the relationship.
\n However, I do not think that this research can pertain to every couple. As with all research, there are always exceptions to the theory. There are no two people alike, and therefore, no two couples alike. Everyone has their own ways of handling situations and reacting to stress.
\nIn addition, I do not believe that relationships can be simplified to numerical data. While these research labs have conducted several experiments and tested numerous couples, their data does not apply to everyone. In the end, all relationships are different. I think that this research might be able to help relationships and teach people how to deal with certain situations, but I do not believe that it is a cure to the arguments that are inevitable.
\n Through the article, we learned that men and women react to arguments in different ways. Women tend to get more worked up while men shut down and prefer to avoid the situation altogether. These reactions are caused by the differences in gender. Women are generally more emotional and tend to look too deep into things. Men, on the other hand, have a simpler outlook on life. This in turn, creates conflicts between the two genders.
\n In Like Water for Chocolate, Tita is searching for the perfect relationship. In her relationship with Pedro, she is the one that spends the day moping over the loss of her true love. Pedro, on the other hand, tends to Rosaura and does not show the same signs of loss as Tita. Similarly, when Tita cheats on John, she stresses out over the situation, while John plays it cool and calmly addresses the situation.
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\n~Rachael Mintzlaff","replyPages":[{"page":0,"digests":[],"more":0}]},{"id":"15520456","dateCreated":"1255670145","smartDate":"Oct 15, 2009","userCreated":{"username":"peaceispossible808","url":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/user\/view\/peaceispossible808","imageUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/i\/user_none_lg.jpg"},"monitored":false,"locked":false,"links":{"self":"https:\/\/iolaniwomenlit.wikispaces.com\/share\/view\/15520456"},"dateDigested":1532141310,"startDate":null,"sharedType":"discussion","title":"Relationship arguments","description":"I thought this article was interesting. I liked how Lisa Diamond analyzed males and females roles in a relationship and in an argument, as well as their general behavior. I thought it was interesting to start the article by describing the difference in posture between the man and woman. It said "The man, Tim, [was] slumped on a couch, and the woman, Stacey, [was] sitting upright on a wing chair." This was a clever way beginning the article because it gave some background about the natural behavior of men and women. It reminded me of the first week of class when we demonstrated the difference between the way women sit and the way men sit. Men generally are slumped in their seats giving off a nonchalant demeanor while women usually sit upright with a more put together air.
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\nThis is a typical scene of a man and woman and is shown especially through the media. Often in movies, in a time of conflict within a relationship, the woman will argue her opinion and remain strong while the man will often withdrawal from the argument when he feels he is being overruled. This may be because the man is trying to refrain from saying something that might push the other over the edge. While this is a typical scene in movies, I don't think it necessarily applies to all couples. There will always be exceptions.
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\nIt was hard to tell from the article the specific science that is used in determining the emotions in the couples. It sounded like heart rate and electric currents were indicators of emotion. This could be effective, however we must always take into account the other factors which might be triggering high heart rate and electric currents as well. For example, their heart rates may have increased because they were being watched by two strangers in another room. Therefore, it is difficult to tell whether numerical data is an accurate interpretation of a relationship.","replyPages":[{"page":0,"digests":[],"more":0}]}],"more":true},"comments":[]},"http":{"code":200,"status":"OK"},"redirectUrl":null,"javascript":null,"notices":{"warning":[],"error":[],"info":[],"success":[]}}