Path To Womanhood


When my parents, aunties and uncles look at me now, they frequently remark, "Mikela, you have grown up to be such a beautiful young woman," or "You're not a little girl anymore." I agree that I am not a little girl anymore; however, I am not so sure that I am not still a girl. To my parents and others I might seem grown up and womanly like because they have watched me grow, but I still feel like I have not fully transitioned from being a girl to a woman. To be a woman I need to be independent and able to support and take care of myself. In many ways I am independent now; however, I still greatly rely on my parents for many things, and they are still responsible for me. Although I am not financially independent, which I believe is an essential factor in being a woman, I am still independent in many other ways and posses many other womanly aspects.
When I think about the differences between a woman and a girl I think about maturity levels, both physical and emotional. I also think about their ability to handle situations, resolve problems and take responsibility for their actions. Another reason I consider myself a girl is because although I take responsibility for almost all my actions, legally that is not always allowed. Being only seventeen, my parents are still responsible for me and some of the things I do. For example, getting my license last year was a big deal for me. It opened a new door of freedom in my life. I felt very grown up and more independent than ever. Driving allowed me to control my own schedule, but it also gave me more responsibilities. I was, and still am, a confident driver; however, one morning while returning my dad’s car to his Kahala Mall office parking, I accidentally pressed down on the gas pedal instead of the brakes while parking the car. As soon as the force of my foot hit the pedal, the car slammed straight into the building and left a huge hole in the wall along with a dent in the hood of my Tacoma.
As soon as I stopped the car and saw my dad rushing towards me, I began sobbing. I felt like a baby-sitting in the front seat crying and hugging my daddy for comfort while the Kahala Mall security guards stared at me. I knew the accident was no ones fault but mine and I took complete responsibility. My dad and I agreed that I would work at his office until I paid back the damages. Although it was my fault for crashing the car, my dad was the one who had to meet with the mall security and take responsibility for me crashing the car. He was the one who had to immediately pay for the damages and deal with the insurance company. When I think back to this accident, I realized that even though I may think im tough and independent, I still really need my parents for support, comfort and guidance. I also realize that part of being a women means I would have to take complete responsibility for the accident, which I couldn’t do. I would have had to maturely deal with that situation on my own, pay for it myself, and not lose my composure. The women in me took as much responsibility for my actions as I could, but the girl in me cried to my daddy.
I have seen the greatest change in myself so far while going through high school; however in college, I believe the change will be greater. High school has helped me begin my transition in becoming a woman, but I think while I go through college and have to live on my own, that is when I will truly become a woman. In college I will have to rely on everything my parents, teachers and peers have taught me and begin the process of finding my place in this world. I will have to do everything on my own and be more strong and independent than I have ever had to be before.
My car accident was a real eye-opening experience for me. In a way that experience helped me grow up and I now feel that I have become more mature and am able to handle situations reasonably. I have also developed both physically and emotionally, and can interact with people my own age and older. Although I do possess some womanly aspects, when it comes to supporting myself, and taking full responsibility for things, I still need help. I am slowly on my way to becoming a woman; however I still have much to learn. For me, the college process will be a huge part in becoming a woman because I will have to slowly stop relying on my parents, and once I can do that, I will be a woman.

Coming of Age