Summer+and+Jonah

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Abstract: The main point of this article is to advocate for the respect of women in social situations. Alecia Eberhardt wrote this article about why women should stop saying they have a boyfriend when they are not interested in a guy. The article talks about her beliefs and experiences and how women can stop using this phrase. Male privilege is the main argument of the article. Women should be respected at bars and clubs regardless if they have a boyfriend/husband. Women are not put at fault for this excuse to not talk to a guy, but if we don't stop, it will only add to the idea that women are still second to men. Women are subjecting themselves to this and they don't even realize it. Educating and raising awareness of these small little details makes a difference. It changes the community, it changes our society, and it changes the level of respect women have for themselves.

Summer: I initially found this article on Facebook and was shocked by how accurate it was. It sometimes frustrates me that I can't catch every single misogynistic thing that occurs right under my nose that even I indulge in! However, I am determined to stop using this phrase if I ever am put in a situation similar to the article. The idea of another man only respecting a woman because he only respects another man's "property" is ridiculously sexist. As a feminist, it's hard for me to read these types of things and not feel guilty for furthering the gender gap. Reading this article just makes me more inspired and aware of how my words truly have action. If I stop using this phrase and ask a man to leave me alone at a bar or what have you because I want to be left alone, then go me! I shouldn't have to bring another man into it when my dignity and respect should always be acknowledged. Girls, fight for your independence! And don't let men govern and manipulate YOUR self respect.

Jonah:  I really do agree with this website because I think that men should respect a woman's interest regardless if the are in a relationship or not. That shouldn't matter. If she's not interested, you should leave her alone. By women using the excuse that they have a boyfriend, they actually take power away from themselves and rest it in the man that they are currently in a relationship with. That said I think that some women can be very unsociable and tend to make assumptions when it comes to men who want to make a connection with them. I feel like some women automatically assume that the man's intentions are purely sexual and that they have no intention of doing anything other than getting her out of her pants. This however is not true, some men just want to have a conversation and be friends. I really think that if women don't want to talk they should just be firm in their answer and nine times out of ten, the guy will take the hint and leave her alone. We're not all terrible, you know.

Discussion questions:

How many of you have used this excuse before and why did you choose to use it?

Guys: Would you automatically respond to this comment if you were interested in a girl and she said this to you?

Who has more control in these situations? Why does the guy have to make the first move?

How would a guy let down a girl who was interested in him?

Do girls feel bad for saying no more than guys? Elaborate.