Lesbian+Parents+and+Their+Children-Editorial

Editorial- The Acceptance of Lesbian Mothers and Their Children

“You’ve got no dad, and you’ve got two mums and I think you’re really really really really weird,” an older girl told seven year old Alisha. Although Alisha said she didn’t care and just walked away, another time, a much older boy came up to Alisha, asking her if she had a dad. She said no, and he said, “Well that’s stupid, isn’t it?” When she replied that it wasn’t, he said, “Yes it is,” and started to chase her, catching her once and kicking her. Alisha, an interviewee, tells this story to Helen Statham and Sarah Jennings, who conducted interviews with children who had lesbian and gay parents for the Centre for Family Research at the University of Cambridge. Although this incident happened in the United Kingdom, similar incidents happen in the United States as well. Gay parents, especially lesbian (couple) parents, have recently become increasingly more common in the United States. Since the lesbian custody movement of the 1970s, where lesbians fought for custody of their children in court, the acceptance of lesbian parenting has increased. However, there are still parts of the nation- particularly Conservative America- who look down upon such households. People like Anita Bryant in the 1970s began a counter revolution against homosexual rights. Bryant was the leader of a group called, “Save Our Children,” saying that “these people” wanted “the legal right to propose to our children that theirs is an acceptable alternate way of life.” (Park, Alice.) She was also a major part of repealing an ordinance of the Miami-Dade County. The ordinance had forbidden discrimination of others’ sexual orientation. (Park, Alice.) However, although homophobes tried to tear down gay couples and gay parents, love prevailed. The lesbian custody movement began in the 70s, when lesbian parents fought against courts and biological fathers for custodial rights of their children. Courts often discriminated against the mothers because of their sexual orientation. In the documentary Mom’s Apple Pie: The Heart of the Lesbian Mothers’ Custody Movement, an African American woman spoke of her battle with the courts, and how to the court system, her being a lesbian was worse than her ex husband being a drug addict. Even though lesbian mothers have fought such battles in the United States, we as a society have not achieved the equality and acceptance that lesbians and their families deserve. Today, those opposed to gay households argue that it is unfair for the children and that the children need a father figure. Additionally, they fear that the children themselves are prone to be homosexual and that “something will be wrong” with them. However, in 2010, Alice Park of Time magazine wrote an article entitled, “Study: Children of Lesbians May Do Better Than Their Peers.” She revealed the results of a study done by Nanette Gartrell, professor of psychiatry at UCSF and professor of law at UCLA and Henry Bos, behavioral scientist at University of Amsterdam. The study was published the week before in Pediatrics, a journal. (Park, Alice.) The two researches presented their results: while children raised by either single or partnered lesbian mothers were similar to children of heterosexual parents in development and social behavior, it was found that children of lesbian parents actually scored “higher than kids in straight families on some psychological measures of self-esteem and confidence, did better academically and were less likely to have behavioral problems, such as rule-breaking and aggression.” The data that the two researches analyzed dated back to 1986. (Park, Alice.) There is nothing wrong with lesbian parents’ kids; in fact, they’re actually probably doing better than kids raised in homophobic and ignorant families. Unfortunately, the study also showed results of bullying. According to the Time article, a shocking-- or not so shocking-- 41% of children of lesbian parents in the study said that they have been teased, ostracized, or discriminated against because they were raised by lesbian parents. Although there are still bigots in both the adult and child communities, thankfully acceptance is growing of both lesbian mothers and their children. According to the New York Times in January of 2011, there are now eight churches in Jacksonville, Florida, that publicly welcome homosexuals. There is one that actually “caters to (gay) couples with children.” The three Abrahamic religions- Judaism, Islam, and Christianity- view homosexuality as a sin. There are more liberal sects of Christianity and Judaism, however, that thankfully do accept homosexuals. Clearly, lesbian parents and their children are still being discriminated against- for love. Perhaps I am oversimplifying it when I say they are being discriminated against because of who they love, because of who their parents are. Evidence shows that children of lesbian parents are successful academically, socially, and developmentally, even more so than children of heterosexual parents. As acceptance of these families continues to grow, discrimination, fear, and bigotry against them will dissipate into nothingness. Love will conquer.